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Baby-Sitting Experiences... ...give me some very funny things to talk about. I've been told many funny things by the children's parents. Things that happen at school, cute things they do, etc... Well, after looking after dozens of children for many ages, I now know 23 things that the can do that are annoying. But my sense of humour gets the best of me, and I've turned each one into part of a list. I hope each one of you like these jokes! Sure, they sound funny to YOU, but some of these I got in lots of trouble for. 1. A king sized water bed holds enuogh water to completely flood a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep in a very short period of time. 2. If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies, and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 3. A 3-year-olds' voice is louder than 200 adults in an extremely crowded restaurant. 4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 48 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is, however, strong enough to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room if tied to a paint can. 5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. 6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan... 7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh oh," it's already too late. 8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, lots of it. 9. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifyng glass can start a fire even on a rainy day. 10. Certain LEGOs will pass through the digestive system of a four-year-old. 11. Play-Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentance. 12. Super Glue is forever. 13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water. 14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O... 15. VCRs do not eject peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do. 16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise while driving. 18. You probably don't want to know what "that odor" is. 19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens... (and neithir do the kids who own the toys!) 20. The fire departement in Ottawa, Ontario has a five minutes response time. 21. The spin cycles on washing machines do not make earth worms dizzy. 22. It will, however, make cats dizzy. 23. Cats throw up half their body weight when dizzy... And that would be the list of things children have done in my experiences od baby-sitting them. And one of the funniest stories I was told by a parent was the following. And keep in mind, it's a true story. One day, the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came up to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate building materials for his home. She read, "...And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some straw to build my house?'" The teacher paused and then asked the children, "And what do you think the man said?" One little boy raised his hand and said, "i think I know what he said, 'HOLY SH%@!! A talking pig!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes. - Created By Michael Back>> |
